A step by step guide to building true and lasting confidence…

In an unconventional and authentic way…

There is a phrase I am sure you have heard, “Fake it until you make it,” it gets tossed around quite a bit, but here is the thing, there is always a ton on emphasis on the “fake it” BUT… Eventually, you HAVE to cultivate your TRUE inner confidence in order for it stick around for the long haul…

In other words, you can only fake it for so long and only with certain people and in certain situations. But as our society evolves into a more authentic space, you can only hide for so long, and certain people will see right through you immediately.  So why not start now?  We all have true confidence available to us deep inside, all we have to do is cultivate it.  We must practice tapping into our authentic self until it becomes who we are from the inside and out. That is where TRUE confidence comes from. 

In this post, I am going to cover the top 7 practices to help you tap into your TRUE confidence so you never have to fake it again. The good news is, once you embody it, you will never loose it, and it will make a world of difference in your life and in your business. 

So before we dig in here, I want to define confidence for you…

Merriam Webster defines self confidence: confidence in oneself and in one’s powers and abilities (side note: I cannot stand when the definition contains the word it is defining) 

Nevertheless, I would like to take it a step further to say that self confidence is the ability to be your true, authentic self in any and every moment. If you don’t have to pretend to be someone else, you harness the ability to speak directly from your heart, and this is where true confidence comes from. 

The interesting thing is, I could teach you how to be outwardly confident: dress the part, know your stuff, take a public speaking course, etc, but that is only going to prepare you to be confident in a particular situation. What about all the other parts we play in life?  Wouldn’t it be easier to cultivate true inner confidence?  Now all you have is the confidence to be YOU and the pressure is off. Others will naturally flock to you because you have become a beacon of light and inspiration. If you don’t think this will translate into exponential growth in your business then you may not be ready for what I have to say next…

7 ways to build TRUE and unwavering confidence

1. Selfcare

I know, I know, but it all really does begin here.  You have to show up for yourself! If you don’t value YOU enough to show up, then why would anyone else?  If you are going to be YOU, then you have to really get to know YOU.  What are your true likes, dislikes, and deepest desires? How do YOU (not what society says) want to show up in YOUR life?

So many of us tend to run on auto pilot. Not stopping long enough to investigate what is really important. This is truly what self care is all about and I think it could be thought of as more self discovery. The idea here is you pick a self care routine that resonates with you, and you incorporate it into your morning routine. This can be anything from journaling and meditation to walks in nature and quiet contemplation. You will find that the more time you spend with yourself and get to know yourself, the more you develop a relationship with the authentic part of you. The more your relationship with yourself blossoms, the more it shines through every aspect of your life. Showing up for yourself in this way is the most valuable gift you could give yourself, others, and your business.

2. Letting go of fear and ego

What you will find, as you develop this relationship with yourself, is that you are more willing to look at your fears. You can begin to spend a little time and dig deeper into your fears within yourself and your business. The more you get to know and separate yourself from that negative voice in your head that tells you why you can’t do something, the more you can tell it to F off! 

Meditation is an incredible way to begin to separate yourself from your thoughts. You will begin to see the untruth in them and choose different thoughts intentionally.  It is also a great practice to follow the fears down to the root of them.  I like to journal and use the phrase: “I am afraid of _______ Because of _________” or “I am afraid or ______ because I scare myself by imagining_________.”

You will find that when you identify and look your fears directly in the face they weaken and even disappear. This process alone will give you so much more confidence with your customers. It teaches you how not to get caught up in fear or anxiety no matter what is happening in the outside world, you get to remain in the eye of the storm.

3. Stop comparing yourself

“Don’t compare your beginning to someone else’s middle.”

-Jon Acuff

That pretty much sums it up right there. Here is the deal, we were told as children (hopefully),

“You are special and unique and you have a gift for the world unlike anyone else’s”, so USE it! 

Look at how many people have written books about the same topics, but how different they are because of the individual who wrote them. What may resonate with you may not resonate with another and that goes for what you have to offer as an entrepreneur too! There are an abundance of clients and customers out there, don’t worry about who else is doing what you do!

4. Abundance mindset

Hopefully you are going to start journaling about your fears around your business. Chances are, one of the reasons you loose confidence is because of the amount of pressure you are putting on yourself. The reason most entrepreneurs put so much pressure on themselves is they succumb to the financial pressures and the fear of competition. You must begin to adopt an abundant mindset. Now, this does take some work and we do go much deeper in my online course, “The Connection To Close.” The bottom line is, if you can train your conscious and subconscious mind that there is more than enough business to go around, it alleviates the pressure. You will begin to understand that not everyone has to say yes and no is nothing personal. 

With an abundant mindset you begin to see that things do workout as they should. You become more patient and trusting of the process.  Remember the only way you truly fail is when you give up. When you can approach your sales conversation with a more open and trusting mindset, your will naturally be more confident and your clients will notice. 

5. Body confidence

Getting your body centered and grounded can be an incredible practice to increase confidence. There is a technique called, taking a “moment to arrive,” and all it is is a quick breathing meditation.  This is commonly used before any big pitch or sale conversation and it goes something like this.  Instead of blasting into your presentation, arrive a few minutes early, and try this…

How it works:

Close your eyes and begin to inhale to the count of 4, hold for the count of 4, exhale to the count of 4, and hold to the count of 4.  Repeat this at least 10 times and feel your feet firmly planted on the floor.  Feel yourself gathering and bringing your scattered energy all back into alignment with you.  Feel your breath as it flows in and out as it relaxes you more and more. This is the ultimate confidence builder because you can feel the energy alignment in your body, and it fully relaxes you out of that fight or flight mode. You no longer feel rushed, scattered, or nervous, like so many experience, prior to an important meeting.

6. Your why and failing forward

I am sure you are passionate about what you do and why, but sometimes your big “WHY” get’s lost.  When you get caught up in the dollar signs, you may begin judging your progress negatively. This can cause your confidence to deflate. I am not saying you shouldn’t take a look, you need to know your business, but keep your big WHY central during the process. 

I know it is challenging in a reality based on numbers, dollar signs, and growth, but the more you can stay present with your WHY, the less discouraged you will be.  When I get discouraged, I remember the reason I am doing this and the mission I have. I take a moment and remind myself of all the “greats” out there. NO ONE just skyrocketed to success without overcoming challenges and obstacles. Thomas Edison made over 1000 unsuccessful attempts at the light bulb before he figured it out, and everyone knows the story of Steve Jobs. The point is, they failed forward.  In other words they missed the target, and they learned a lot along the way.  When you have this mindset towards your business, your confidence grows. As long as you learn, adjust, and keep going, you WILL win. 

7. Preparation

You will want to know as much as you can about a potential client up front, their needs, and their reason for wanting to work with you. The more you know and understand their needs prior to the discussion, the more effective the discussion will be.

Preparation has been a huge confidence builder for me as long as I have been in business. As an entrepreneur, you are extremely knowledgeable about what you do. However, just because you know your business doesn’t mean you can skip preparing for your next meeting with a potential client.

You also want to practice your message to “get the marbles out of your mouth” as the sales “Gods” say. It is true, preparation and practice will make you more confident in your sales approach and much more comfortable with your presentation skills. Having a list of the most common objections and being prepared with the solution is another great way to build confidence. 

There you have it 7 ways to build lasting and true confidence inside and out.

I truly hope you will give these suggestions a try. You don’t have to do everything all at once, but I suggest beginning with self care and learn to value that time of self introspection. As you become more accustomed to it, bring more of the healing work into the process. As for some of the other suggestions, you can implement them right away and chances are you are already doing some, but be honest with yourself.  

At the end of the day something that helps me the most, is knowing there is no destination. Once you achieve one goal there will almost certainly be another one on the horizon. It really is just about the journey, a journey of learning, and we are all in this together. Your job is to improve, grow, and work towards that next level version of yourself each day.

Want to learn with me? Read more about the Connection to Close

About the blogger…

Hi There!
I am Jana Niksa…I’m a transformational sales expert and intuitive business coach…I am obsessed with helping others realize and embody their full potential. My passion is working with female entrepreneurs and guiding them through a process of inner transformation for outward business growth. Please consider joining our tribe here SUBSCRIBE for weekly tips, tricks, and transformation. And remember…SUCCESS IS AN INSIDE JOB!